From Divorce to Destruction
'A house is built by hands, but a home is built by hearts'-said the parish priest in a Latin Catholic Church in Dallas at the X'mas mass. He was giving a sermon on family life and cited the Holy Family of Joseph-Mary – Jesus as the best model to follow. Yes, the sermon was fine as I used to think that 'a house is constructed by bricks, but a home is built by emotions'-emotions of love, concern, care, sharing, sacrifice, understanding, listening etc…..and the words are plenty to show that a home- a sweet home-is the Holy of Holies when a switch, a single switch regulates everything and that unique switch is the emotions of the Family of Nazareth.
A lot of stories are heard about American families and I do not know how far they are true; nevertheless, many of them cannot be totally false. What I hear about the American family life is not nice to write here as I do not want the Malayalee children to read filth. I am concerned with our families in Kerala, India. Is the marriage still sacramental? - Or- only contractual? It seems to me that some people are inclined to think that the marriage is contractual and one can break the contract at any time at his/her desire. Yes, marriage for a life time –that may be an old concept – seems to be unacceptable to some as the divorce rate goes incredibly high in the most literate State in the Country. Many Malayalam films/T.V. serials project this theme and the older generation still prays that what they see in films and serials should never become a reality ever. But, look at the causes of divorce in Kerala. They are not, many a time, what are stipulated under the civil law or under the canons of any religion. They create very powerful causes to get divorce at any rate. In a study conducted by me in an area of 40 sq.kms. that out of 60 unnatural deaths (murder and suicides), 21 were of those who were married and had or suspected to have illicit or adulterous relationship with a person outside the wedlock. Can you believe that the family courts in Kerala are flooded with divorce applications and several lawyers mint money by becoming divorce lawyers. Malayalam films show such lawyers too in their cinemas.
In Indian pulpits too, we hear about the unacceptability of western values and their decline of family structure and life. I admit it, nevertheless with a question back: 'Are we in a way better than the westerners in our family concept?' I think that we too are moving to a situation that our couples as well start thinking now or in the near future about 'YOUR MONEY,MY MONEY'; 'YOUR CHILDREN,MY CHILDREN'; ' YOUR BUSINESS,MY BUSINESS', ' YOUR LOOK OUT,MY LOOK OUT" etc. O.K.," Shut up and let us part with". In Kerala' desertions were found in the past in plenty and then it was called the 'poor man's divorce' and 'divorce in a secret way' etc. Now the poor man too goes to courts to get everything legalized and the divorces in a clandestine way become more open and acceptable. The value creators, society makers, religious men, moralists must fight against this epidemic which will take our families and family life to destruction.
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