Marrying For Divorce
"Hi" –we, Mary, Neethie, Maria and I heard an young girl of 27-28 addressing so and smiling. A young handsome man of the same age was with her-very good looking couple-made for each other.
Neethie told us that they were her associates in WALL-MART and they married about two or three months back. They were in real love for about ten or more years with a lot of dating etc. They lived happily.
Yes, Neethie told me that her American associates simply did not or could not understand the concept of 'ARRANGED MARRIAGES' of our culture. They often asked her:" How could a man and woman live together and love each other sharing their lives till they died without knowing each other prior to marriage?" Quite reasonable question indeed!
Yes, it is a question asked by many Americans to whom I used to say that Mary and I married on November 20, 1977-i.e., about long 33 years ago and our life is a real message to Americans. My parents had more than 50 years of married life-until their death-with eight children and many grandchildren. My wife's parents had nearly 75 years of married life. All of us married without 'DATING' and knowing each other prior to marriage. We had a trust that all would be O.K. For, our parents made a lot of inquiries about the character, reputation, income, family status, credibility and thus a hundred questions were asked and answered prior to our marriage and their taking a decision together about our marriage. They usually did not go wrong and thus the marriages in India are not between two individuals but between two families.
Most unfortunately, Americans do not and cannot understand the secret of Indian marriages and their success of living together until death. Many still think: 'To say that one can love one person all his life is just like saying that one candle will continue burning as long as they live'. My counter question is: 'Why don't they see the live examples just in front of their eyes before they start doubting?'
Sociologists in India assert that the success of marriage and family relations does not have any positive correlation with dating and mutual knowledge prior to marriages. If they were positively correlated, then why do many American marriages fail and end up in divorces? Divorces do take place within no time in American culture and stability in married life is a topic of live discussions among the American sociologists.
In India, people are still proud of their stable family life and marriage until death. Nevertheless the attitude to such marriages is getting changed and some are inclined to think about divorces. They do divorce in these days and as seen from the family court records, some do not have hesitations to approach the courts for getting divorces.
May be owing to the influence of the western culture, some young men and women, now a days, think of knowing each other prior to their marriage and then? Inter-caste, inter-state, inter-denominational, inter-religious, international, inter-continental marriages….are taking place in marriage registrar's offices and no doubt, it is owing to their 'Knowing each other' prior to their marriages. God alone knows whether or not such marriages will last long! Are we going to shatter the institution of marriage in the years to come? Sociologists will and they must answer the question or let us think aloud and arrive at a conclusion.
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